beyfire

Stranger to this World

I'm dealing with a loss. Worse than I have ever known, for the longest time I felt alone in this world. I felt like I would never be seen. Like I just existed and no matter what, no one would ever see the real me. Than I met someone who I though could see me. I had never felt so close to someone in my life, it was a dark and glorifying feeling...to be seen. To be so open to someone and not be turned away. I saw years of my life with this person there, I saw myself very happy, and never alone.

But I was wrong, after two years, I was walked out on; and left completely alone, a world teeming with color faded very sharply to grey. I was told they felt like they "didn't really know me". It nearly killed me. And now I just keep asking myself all these hows? After two years, how could you say that you didn't know me? How, when you were so integral to my new found sense of world. I needed you, and you just walked away. How could you be without me when I thought us so close. How could I be so sure, more sure than I have ever been my whole life about someone and be so wrong. And worst of all, how could I feel all these things, and you not feel at all the same.
  • Current Mood: sad sad
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